One of the hardest things you might ever have to confront is the fear of getting started.  You start out with the best of intentions and then sometimes you let your imagination get the best of you.  You start to doubt yourself and what you are doing.

The questions and the voices start;

• Will this work?
• Why am I bothering with this?
• What if this does not work and I am just wasting my time?
• How will I survive if this does not work?
• Everyone has told me that this is a stupid idea!

I have dealt with all of these questions at one time or another and sometimes the fear is almost paralyzing.  Especially that last question because it can take on so many different forms and create so much more doubt which leads to even more fear.  Suddenly we are all alone and alone can be a terrifying place.

We really can be our own worst enemies

Being self employed I have nothing to fall back on. Everything is on me, there is no income from a job waiting for me so the pressure can really build up and these fears become so real that sometimes I have to fight to get started.

What drives me forward is that I really like what I do for a living and the thought of a real job scares me more than what my imagination is doing to me some days.  I know that the reality is never as bad as what I am telling myself.

My fear of getting started on something new usually happens because one of these things;

• I have taken on too much at one time
• I am disorganized again
• I am overwhelmed with everything happening around me
• Everything is coming at me all at once and I cannot think things through

I cannot think, or act, because I am not in control anymore, outside factors are affecting me and my decision making abilities.

My imagination is driving my life again

One solution I found is actually pretty simple, I stop.  I get organized again.  I slow down for a few days and I plan things out so I am ahead of the work, not reacting to it.  Sometimes I take some time and I exercise.  By doing this, things do not look as bleak and I am able to start the new job, or get back to work on existing projects, or write new content for websites.

Sometimes letting go for a few days is the best solution and other times moving ahead is even better

Which brings me to another solution – push forward through the fear.  This is really hard to do, but I have found that if I just get started I feel a whole lot better.  The only reason I can come up with for feeling better is that by moving forward I am able to see some hope ahead of me.  Doing something productive means that I am not giving in to the fear and that creates a lot of positive feelings.

If you have ever had to deal with the fear of starting something new, or sometimes even doing a simple job, you may have run into the problem of overthinking the new task or project.  Instead of starting, you sit down and think about all the details ahead of you, planning out the little tasks, and thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong.

This is paralysis by planning and if you are already overwhelmed, this can create a whole new level of fear about getting started, or even just continuing on.  You tell yourself, why bother, it will not work.  You find yourself not wanting to do the things that a few days ago were not a problem to do.  Opening up a computer program brings on a cold sweat because of what you might see there.  Yes, I have been there.  More than once.

What gets me through is I start something, or I force myself to keep working on a project.  I do my best to ignore the fears and the voices inside me.  I just get started and I always find that my imagination was wrong.  I really do feel better by getting started or pushing further ahead.  Suddenly, I am moving forward, there is hope and I find myself too busy to listen to my imagination.  I know this sounds simple and a little strange, but it really does work.

When you are confronted by the fear of starting something new, it is actually your bodies defence mechanism kicking in.  Sort of an emotional fight or flight reflex.  By fighting, you are moving forward, towards the danger of the unknown.  You are giving up all of the safety and security of everything you know and understand to head out into what your brain and imagination is telling you is dangerous territory.  By giving in, you are running, retreating to the safety of your old life.

Fear is your body is trying to protect you from yourself and your ambitions

Most of us are not born risk takers.  We are programmed to stay with the pack, to live within what the majority says is just common sense.  The fear you are experiencing is you fighting this evolutionary programming.  The fear is actually a good thing, you just have to accept it and believe that this is a good sign.  You are leaving the ordinary behind, your comfort zone, and doing what very few people ahead of you have the courage to attempt.

Sure, there will be some setbacks along the way, but that is life.  A job with a steady paycheque has risks.  Driving to and from that steady job everyday has risks.

Nobody can control risk, but You can control the fear that holds you back from starting something new.

If you want to live a great life, you are going to have to accept that fear is going to be a part of it.  You also have to accept that you really can control that fear.  How you do it might be different from how I control it.  For you, it might be;

• Pictures of your favourite city
• Thinking about your family
• Something that you truly want in life
• Maybe you work better if you go to the gym before you get to work or when you feel the fear coming on
• Maybe you need to get out to a nice coffee shop and be around people that have the life you want and this inspires you
• Taking up a new sport or martial art to force yourself to think of something else, like not getting hit
• Zen Gardens or Bonsai to force yourself to meditate and clear your head

For me it has always been a combination of several of the things on this list.  Some people only do one, some people never stop looking and trying because they have discovered that distraction creates ideas.

What may look crazy to someone close to you, is not crazy to you if it works

We are all different and we all react differently to our surroundings, our own goals and desires and how we overcome our fears.  You need to find what works for you so that you have a place to go when that fear grabs hold of you.  Someone I used to work with referred to it as his “Happy Place”.  I never understood that until I stepped out of my comfort zone and I experienced how bad this type of fear can really be when you have no safety net.  Those voices really are convincing.

No matter what is driving you, you are going to have to accept that you are going to be leaving your old life behind and your emotional fight or flight reflex will be working overtime for a while.  I can honestly say that it does get easier.

The fear may still come up out of nowhere some days, but by confronting that fear and pushing through it, you will move ahead and before you know it, you will look back and be amazed at how far you have come.  I look at where I have come from, and what I had to force my way through, and I am still shocked at how I got here.  While I am still afraid some days, I look at the fear as a sign that I am leaving another comfort zone behind and I am going to be moving forward again very soon.